First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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