Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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