Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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