Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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